If only…

By Martine Ngabirano, director of the blog, Sherbrooke

If I was a grand-mother, some of those who live like 80 years, and at all, are considered as wise women or men, know more about the past of the society and the story of the group, I will fight against the beliefs in these affirmations:

    “Umugabo n’uwurya utwiwe n’utw’abandi”:  The one profit, the man he is.

    “Uwutema urwiwe bamutiza umuhoro”: The one destroys his home, the one need to be free to do so.

    “Uwuguheneye ntumuhenere akwita ikiburanyo”: The one gets naked in front of you, while you don’t do so, will think you’re stupid and with nothing to show.

    “Ibitakuraba uraba hasi”: when you’re not in concern, keep your eyes away.

    “Urucira mukaso, rugatwara nyoko”: judging your stepmother can bring you your mom in slavery or death before…so, you need to keep not judging anyone.

    “Inyundo irakura ntisumba iyayujuje”: a new hammer can’t ever exceed the one that made it.

    “Urukwavu rurakura rukonka umwana”: it’s a right to parents to depend on their children, when they are old.

    “Iyo bumenya umwe bwari ikindi”: If you were the only one who knew it, then I would respect in.

    “Ubugaba bw’umugabo nibwo buryo bwiwe”:  Despite his indolence, man must manage to survive.

    “Itama ridatamiye iwawe, uravuza induru ntiryumva”:  A man, with whom you have shared anything, doesn’t rescue.

    “Itama ritakurira utwawe ntirikuvugiriza induru ugowe”: A man who you do not pay, doesn’t assist you.

    “Iyo ndahaba ntabura”: The”If I were” are always many.

    “Agasumba akandi karakamira”: Who is better off than you, dominate you. 

    “Ahari umugabo hashira umugayo”:  A real man always comes down to be respected.

    “Akari mu mpene niko kari mu ntama”: There is no reason why your brother or your cousin is different from you, so you need to conform yourself.

    “Amarushwa ari ku wundi ntakubuza itiro”: The misfortune of the ones does not preclude the happiness of others.

    “Ca umugani gaca mugani: ruriye abandi ntirukwibagiye”: The experience of another should teach you or curb you.

    “Ndakwanka ntivamwo ndagukunda”: the one who hates or doesn’t like you, can’t change and loves you, over time.

    “Nta mukuru yikura”: no real governor resigns

    “Umuhini mushasha uter’amabavu”:  you need to fear to all new deal

    “Umukobwa n’impinga y’abagenda”: the girl looks at only those who are on the road, so she’s materialist.

    “Umuntu arasonza akibuka ubwo yahaye imbwa”: when you are hungry, you need to keep up what you’ve give to more poor people.

    “Umukobwa n’akarago k’abaraye”: the girl is good to focus to foreigners seeking to be accommodated.

    “Ngo hako ndushwa gutambikiza n’umugore nopfuma ntabuka”:  Instead of being overwhelmed by a woman, it is better to excel to the point of bursting.

    “Umuryi ntaruha imisaya”: The one who always  has, always wants.

    “Umukwe w’isoni arazihambanwa”: A shy does not advance, and will be always less attention.

    “Agatoki kamenyereye gukomba kama gahese”:  The lazy never tarries to do better, he still prefers benefit from others.  

      Etc.

Even though I am not old, I dare to interpose such statements. These are such of affirmations which block our mentality and keep us in mediocrity. They repress life of community, mutual respect, mutual trust and the value of human being, man or woman. How to remove from our lives? Simply by denouncing,  openly, especially to people who like to use to make excuses. We can avoid repeating it to our future children, as did our parents or grandparents to us: the time is over. Anyone who uses them, even jokingly, should really feel, at least, discomfort. If you have any proposals to end the sentences that "supposedely" define our traditional moral education, do not hesitate to share!

Source : site of Jean-Noël (http://www.joelnoel.sitew.org.uk/Imigani_y_IKIRUNDI.E.htm#Welcome_Page.A )